...you move a monitor causing a cable to fall behind your desk, and out of sheer reflex try to retrieve said cable by pressing Ctrl+Z. D'oh!

Any of the Cindy's Kitchen product line. The current Cindy's Kitchen site is practically non-existent, but I found this list of their dressings. You can get them at Whole Foods among other places. Try them and you'll wonder how you ever managed to stomach the stuff you (used to) call "salad dressing."

No sooner do I finally succeed in escaping from animal charity solicitation hell than I find myself drowning in a sea of retail catalogs. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire....

I blame Hammacher Schlemmer.

Don't get me wrong, I like Hammacher Schlemmer. I mean, where else can you acquire BOTH a see-through canoe/kayak AND the portable device you need to rid it of germs all in a single online transaction? Therefore when the print catalogs starting showing up shortly after I made a purchase through their website, I didn't mind all that much due to the sheer amusement value combined with the more important fact that I have actually opted to do business with this company. But apparently I was sold out as Brookstone started appearing in my mailbox (I think I saw a brick and mortar Brookstone in a mall once) followed by Sharper Image which sells... I dunno... electronic nose hair clippers for aging executives maybe? And if those weren't bad enough.... Today's winner is Alsto whose advertised offerings answer that age-old question, "What would Pier One be like in a parallel universe run by Sam Walton?"

Then I got to thinking.... All of these glossy mailings that I toss in the trash can't be good for the environment. So I did some searching. According to greendimes.com:

• 100 million trees are cut down each year to create the approximately 4.5 million tons of junk mail in the United States
• 28 billion gallons of water go into the production of American junk mail annually
• Your name is typically worth 3-20 cents each time it is sold for a direct mailing (Editorial note: Only 3-20 cents??? That's a blow to the ego, but okay.)

So.... I make an innocent online purchase and suddenly my carbon footprint does a Barry Bonds and threatens the very existence of polar bears??? Hammacher Schlemmer, you've just been added to my "Do not buy" list for selling me -- and the polar bears -- out.

As for getting off the lists I've been unwittingly placed on: I'm not so sure I'm ready to sign up for the greendimes service. If I'm paying money, I don't want to "register with the DMA" or have to "sign, stamp, and send" anything. If I'm paying money, all of that should be done for me. Of course, I shouldn't be put in this position to begin with. The notion that one must constantly "opt out" and find (pay for) other means to actively put a stop to unsolicited junk mail is absurd. We need the postal equivalent of the "Do Not Call" list. It seems greendimes.com is on that as well: They have a "Do Not Mail" list petition. Signed.